Could you spare some change?

When you open your life up for positive change, it comes! Really... I just tried it and it happened. Don't get me wrong when I'm down, I am waaaay down. I’m talking the type of down where I don’t want people to see me because they wouldn’t recognize me. I mean, looking back at those times I don’t even recognize me. My point is I’m not all happy go lucky at all times, but when I am feeling down and really analyze why, I usually get somewhere with it.

Ok, if I’m not making sense to you let me see if I can break it down. This might mean that I have to get personal, which for me on here has not come too easy thus far. I will give you an experience that has gotten me to writing this very blog. I guess you could say that it all begins with this past weekend. I met someone about a month ago that I have had deep, meaningful (and let’s face it sometimes goofy and not so meaningful) phone conversations with that sometimes lasted hours, the first time we talked it was for FIVE hours. No Joke. I had never met my phone buddy in person, but I felt I didn’t even need to. I already knew them. We had connected in the most fantastic way ever, which didn’t include any physical connection whatsoever. I connect with this person in the best way you could possibly connect with someone! I’m really trying to explain this to you guys, but I know I can’t put it into words so we’ll keep it moving. So you get it, we connected as practically strangers and then met in person. Let me tell you that this has been the most enlightening experience ever. After you have connected with someone on such a meaningful level, it’s so hard to go back to life as you knew it. I just can’t go back to the fun things that occupied my time before, which to be honest with you mostly included mingling with all of my Dallas comrades at the best happy hour spots and restaurants. That stuff is all fine and dandy and fun, but it just doesn’t interest me after this weekend of family, friends, and all of the things that I mentioned in my last blog that truly make me happy!

Anyways, back to my point. So I get back from this great weekend and I say to myself “Self, what are you going to do now?” I thought of all of the things that I do each week, trying to come across something that interested me. Do I want to call Evalyn* and go have a margarita? Maybe I’ll try and call Melinda* and resolve the dispute we got in over a controversial topic and a couple bottles of Sweet Red? None of it seemed enticing, but one thing did! Writing. I wanted to write because if there was no one for me to have a little conversation and connecting chat with, I would just connect with my inner feelings. I would write, and I would wait. Wait for whatever my next move was. Wait for the change that was surrounding me, slowly inching its way into my life to show its face and for me to embrace it.

This change came to me last night when a very close friend of mine, whom I haven’t spoken with in months, called me to ask for a favor. She’s starting a Non-Profit and wants me to help, to get involved, to WRITE for the organizations web site! You see that?? I felt change coming into my life and I dug deep within myself, searching for what this change that I longed for might be and BAM… a conformation that I am on the right track. I embraced this change when I felt it, knowing it could be nothing but positive. I let go of the fear and worry and every other negative emotion I was feeling at the time, and grasped for the light. I searched for it like you would a light switch in the dark. Feeling, grasping, stopping to touch on the things that were familiar and the things that I knew would lead me out of the darkness. If you search for something long enough and open yourself to the possibilities of the positive that comes from change, you will eventually find it, even if it turns out to not exactly be the change you expected. Stay Positive, Live Positive, I promise you will see a change.