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| Full Moon Over Dallas by Matthew T Rader |
I was at a conference (maybe a spiritual conference of some sorts) at a hotel with a bunch of people I don't know in real life, they told us to go back to our hotel rooms and get ready for the next meeting. They wanted us all to have a different look to us for this next session so I remember thinking I needed to straighten my hair, since I was wearing it curly. We were walking through the parking garage going back to our room and one of the directors of the conference ran up to us. He was saying that we needed to hurry up, that the floor we were staying on was going to collapse because the reinforcement beams were failing. I remember this sense of urgency that I had to go and shower and get my hair straightened before the floor collapsed on us all. We weren't really panicked at that point, just very hurried. It was odd to me that it was so important that I change my look before the collapse of the floor, instead of just grabbing my things and leaving.
I ended up showering, doing my hair and rushing to gather my things. I started feeling panicked at this point, but I had to bring my stuff with me. I was thinking to myself that it was so silly, me worrying about these replaceable items when my life was on the line, but I wasted the time to get them anyway. About 10 of us rushed onto the elevators and once the doors closed, the scene changed.
First it was as if I were watching the people outside of the hotel like a scene from a movie, they were all weeping because the floor had finally collapsed and I knew then that some didn't make it out. I remember thinking "Whew, I made it!" Obviously, since I was outside and not inside lying among the rubble. All of a sudden, a group of us were in a conference room on one of the top floors of the hotel sitting at a long conference table. This room had floor to ceiling windows around 2 sides of it. It was so bright and sunny that I remember such a warm feeling inside. I started listening to the group and the discussion they were having. They were talking about those that didn't make it off of the floor before it collapsed, I looked across the table at one of the men whose name they called. He seemed to be the only one who could see me and had just this vacant, sort of solemn, expression on his face. Then I heard them say my name. I remember mouthing to the man across the table "So... we're dead?" and he just slowly shook his head yes. Next thing I know, I was thrown back to before the floor collapse, in my hotel room gathering my things. This time I knew that if I tried to bring all of my things I wasn't going to make it off the floor, but for some reason I didn't want to change what I knew was going to happen. There was this sad peace that fell over me and then I woke up.
I felt a real sense of sadness when I woke, but not because I had died. Maybe it was because I felt I was finally losing something, something that I have programmed myself to want but that is no good for me. I know that death in a dream usually means some sort of change, like the death of an old way of living or a lifestyle. I'm not sure, but I do know that something is dying inside of me and I'm sad, but I know it's for the better. I know that it is so that something new and more beautiful can take it's place. At times we have to go out of our comfort zones and feel emotions we normally don't want to feel. That way we might actually reach that deeper, more authentic being that's been waiting inside all of the walls and barricades that we've built around it. So, I share this with you all because it is very heavy on my heart today. Dreams of death seem to do that though. Have you had any dreams of death recently? If so, please share!
I love you all and have missed you dearly,
Jessica
